Proving your commitment to middle-class values? Priceless.
Yesterday, after Politico broke the news of Sarah Palin’s $150,000 RNC makeover (the Republicans seem to be mistaking the election for a debutante ball), McCain supporters took to the web to voice alienation and understanding, and everybody else was left to contemplate the political implications of Palin’s now-public shopping spree. First, the unresolved questions: Why would the RNC so deliberately threaten Palin’s Joe Six-Pack voter base? Is she really going to return the clothes after the campaign? How is it even possible to spend $150,000 at a department store? Finally, as Jon Stewart wondered on Tuesday, “does anybody work on this campaign?”
Inspired by Slate’s 
- A taxidermied giraffe head (because world leaders need to diversify their stuffed animal collections) – $4,900
- Supreme ONE95 hockey skates for every member of the family (to stay in touch with small-town American values) – $3,900
- A Cafepress “First Dude” long-sleeved shirt for Todd – $28.00
- An annual 4-bedroom rental in Key West, FL (with clear views of Cuba, Key West is ideal for keeping an eye on communist activity) – $38,400
- Veggie Tales: The Cucumber Collection (Christian, family-oriented entertainment for cross-country campaign trips) – $27.00
- A Traditional Style William Jones Female Chastity Belt (to make sure Bristol behaves herself when Mom’s away) – $495.000
- The average cost of a Susanna Chung Forest pantsuit (Hillary Clinton’s preferred designer for the campaign trail) – $6,350
- A sympathy flower bouquet for certain out-of-work state troopers – $282.00
- The Diamond Pacifier (Because nothing shuts up babies like diamonds) – $17,000
- A first edition, signed copy of Ronald Reagan’s “An American Life” – $8,000
- 1,500 “Freedom is not free” bumper stickers (to distribute to RNC donors) – $6,750
Total cost – $147,637. Perhaps another campaign drive is in order.

Leave a Reply